Gobble, gobble, gobble. Ho, ho, ho.

Sorry it's been so quiet lately, but work, blah-blah, you know the drill.

We had a great Thanksgiving, and I hope all of you did, too. Christmas is up next. When you get as old as I am, the best thing about Christmas isn't any of the gifts you get (we have everything we need, thanks) or the gifts you give (everyone we know has everything they need, thanks) it's just the general downtime and time spent with friends and family. Corny? Yes, but it's true, as you whippersnappers will find out one day.

On Friday, the cooling fan in my home PC burned out and I had to go into that "Black Friday" morass of insanity to hit CompUSA for a new fan. (The things I do for this strip, let me tell you.) What is up with the crass commercialization of this holiday? Stores and television do their damnedest to make you feel like an emotional cripple if you don't go and max out every credit card in your wallet buying Great Aunt Bertha a USB glitter/lava lamp for her original iMac that she got 8 years ago so she could email her daughter who lives in Canada but she never could figure out how to turn the damn thing on.

Yes, I know that I'm a cynical, caustic jerk who complains a lot, but in all sincerity... it really is kind of stomach-turning.

The corporations want you to stay in debt so bad, they put out ads telling you that you deserve chrome Kitchen Aid mixers, Lexus SUVs and 78" Plasma HDTVs. The truth is, you need a wooden spoon, a four-door Chevy sedan and a 19-inch Sanyo CRT. What you deserve is more time off from your job that you can spend on your relationships, civic responsibilities and some self-improvement.

If there's someone in your life whom you really feel should get a Christmas gift from you, but you just don't know what the hell they want or need... Send them some homemade chocolate-chip cookies and give them a 10-minute phone call. I am dead serious. They'll love it, you'll feel great and Citibank can choke on their dwindling returns as they get penalized in 2006 when Ken Lay finally drags them into his Enron trial.

Merry Christmas.

Yeah... right.

Check out this photo that MSN.com ran with an article about the new Xbox 360's debut yesterday:

Wow, do you think that was staged? Not one, not two, but three college-age/sorority-type girls stood in line in the freezing rain for god-knows-how-long just to be one of the first to get an Xbox 360. Not only that, but it would appear that "Tracy" on the far right there is a cheerleader, based on her topcoat. And they all had time to do their hair and makeup before they got their picture taken.

What a crock of monkeyshit. Why not just show us a picture of Bigfoot standing next to an alien autopsy while he holds a new Xbox 360? I'd believe that. I mean, I realize that you have to promote and market your product, but you don't have to insult my intelligence when you do it. Video games aren't this mainstream, Gates.

The Envelope Please... UPDATE!

UPDATE: Dave Cooke wins a guest appearance in a future strip
I totally forgot about this prize. Send me a photo of yourself, Dave.

The Grand Prize - A Night Out with "Dave" and "Skip":
Llywelyn Graeme

Personalized Yesman & Puckerup Coffee Mug:
Jay Towslee

Original Art - Carol's Pinup:
Jason Gump

Original Art - Tiffany's Pinup:
Brad Sandidge

Thanks to everyone for your enthusiasm and generosity. Prints will be going out in a few days. Mugs will be shipped before Thanksgiving. The night out with Dave, Skip and yours truly will likely take place early in 2006. Expect pictures. Or, as we call it around the house, "Blackmail."

The dead walk the Earth (or "Batman wouldn't have to take any of this crap.")

Preface: Pledge drive prints are at the press and will be shipped by this weekend. Orders for the mugs have been placed and will arrive at my home within a week or so, and I will ship them out from here. Prize winners announced this Friday, 11/11.

AGAIN with these damn blog quizzes. I hate these things, and yet...

Had to answer a "Tie-breaker" question which split me between Batman and Maximus. But I only scored 42% in the Spider-Man category? That makes me sad.

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause. Maximus 71% Batman, the Dark Knight 71% El Zorro 63% William Wallace 63% Neo, the "One" 63% James Bond, Agent 007 58% Captain Jack Sparrow 46% Lara Croft 42% The Amazing Spider-Man 42% Indiana Jones 42% The Terminator 38% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

Pledge Drive Wrap-up

A big THANK YOU to everyone who contributed to the first annual pledge drive. It was a huge success! If you didn't pledge anything, being a regular reader and moral cheerleader is an equally important means of supporting the comic, so a "Thank You" goes out to you as well.

All of the money raised (after paying for the printing and shipments of the pledge drive merchandise) will go directly to financing the comic. I'm going to replace this HP ScanJet ElCrap-O 2000 with something that's faster and doesn't have dirt on the underside of the glass where I can't clean it. The rest of the money will go toward financing the first print run of a combination Suburban Tribe/Altie print comic which I will use next spring and summer at cons to try and get ST some serious print exposure. You'll also be able to purchase this comic through the site. So please don't worry about me taking the money and blowing it on an Xbox 360 and never updating the strip again.

Prize winners will be announced this Friday, 11/11. Speaking of which, several Louisville readers have expressed interest in tagging along on the Grand Prize outing. Here's the deal: Anyone can come along on this provided that you pay your own way. I will announce the date here, but that will be decided between the winner, myself, "Dave" and "Skip." After the date is announced (in all likelihood, a Saturday night not too long after Christmas), I will take a head count so that we can make reservations if need be.

Finally, more than a few people who donated $25 or more neglected to specify if they wanted a mug or the set of prints. If this was you, we sent you an email asking you to reply with your preference NO LATER THAN TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8. If we don't hear from you by this date, YOU WILL RECEIVE A SET OF PRINTS. This will ensure that you get something for your generous donation, and it will also automatically qualify you for the one of the
original art prizes.

Thanks again to everyone for your donations. They will help to build a ledge that will take this comic to the next level.

Enjoy the final story arc of 2005; it will run from now until December 21, when I will once again take a two-week vacation from my day job and the strip and return on January 4, 2006 with Agent 34-Delta in tow!

LAST DAY OF THE PLEDGE DRIVE!

Sorry to be entirely silent during the pledge drive, but over the last 2 weeks working some serious OT at the day job has made meeting the strip deadlines an almost superhuman task. I figured slacking off on the blog instead of the comic was the lesser sin while I was asking for money.

This is the last day you can donate and get the WTF mug or the pin-up prints of the girls. Click the link at the top of the strip to donate and possibly be eligible for the prizes.

My wife and I will set about the process of sorting through the donations and getting everyone their prints and coffee mugs this weekend. We'll also name the prize winners before this time next week.

Come back here Monday for a pledge drive post-mortem.